he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
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I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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