I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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