david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
