I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
