it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
