I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
