i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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