i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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