I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you would pick up someone in the library
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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