you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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