i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
