my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
