My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
