normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
