We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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