We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
