I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize