Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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