I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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