I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
