I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
