So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
