Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
