I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
