i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
