Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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