went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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