I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
