ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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