We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
