Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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