Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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