the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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