so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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