margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the day after is always just damage control
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
