cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
