you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
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Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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