It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Boobs are out for the taking
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
