What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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