I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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