Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
