im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
