do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
