You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
