no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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