therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out