If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is Oprah even human
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.