jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate