Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
high people should be assigned attendants
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
