On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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