I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
