A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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