There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
