i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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