Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
