you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
