So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
