Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
