Need sex. Gaining weight.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
