Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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