I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
